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Fandom didn't make you a bitch (you were born one)

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True Blood picspam 2x08
tb: tara
all_my_fandoms
So I made 2 True Blood picspams last night HERE'S TO HOPING MY INTERNET WILL NOT DIE ON ME IN THE MIDDLE OF POSTING as it did last night.


STOP THE PRESSES WE HAVE A WALK-IN


OH MY GOD THIS SHOT. OH MY GOD.




OH M GOD. OH MY GOOOOOD. It has been weeks since this aired and rewatching it still makes me go DID THAT JUST HAPPEN. Also I hope y'all are paying attention to the beautiful Joseph and the Angel statues behind them NOT BEING SYMBOLIC AT ALL.


Sookie, like a good fangirl, is standing there basically imagining the fic in her brain. Sadly because she was created for fandom to hate she will soon go back to her "OMG LEIK ERIK IS SOOOOO ICKY" ways.


YES ERIC PLZ STAND THERE ON YOUR KNEES WITH YOUR HEAD BENT OBIDIENTLY DOWN WHILE YOU ARE SPEAKING TO YOUR MAKER. Seriously, where is the fic? WHERE?



Eric: Master, you are all that's good and perfect in my life, the only love and acceptance I've ever known.
Godric: God this is so much better than Bill's stupid Lorena drama, BB YOU AND ME WE'RE EPIC



Godric: Go, save the humans!
Eric: I am not leaving your side until--
Godric: GO!
Eric: …mommy?



I am adding these caps to see some moar eric on his knees illustrate that Eric rises from his knees WITH HIS EYES STILL ON THE FLOOR. He does not look at Godric until he's fully upright. SOMEONE SHOW ME FIC THAT ADDRESSES WHEN GODRIC SPECIFIED THIS TO BE HIS PREFRENCE IN KNEELING ERIC SITUATIONS.


Sookie: Why did you bring Bill with you?
Eric: His attachment to you is irrational. It clouds his judgment. Also, being a vampire, I am immune to the irony of that statement in light of my relationship with Godric.


Is it sad this cap of foreshadowing foreshadowingness mostly makes me want to scream NOOOOOOO NOT HER ERIC, ANYONE BUT HER. GO BE WITH LAFAYETTE OR SOMETHING. They are gonna have to work reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaal hard to sell me Eric/Sookie. Not even cos I specifically dislike her character – I think she's fine for the role she's supposed to play – but because she and Eric seem like the least well suited couple EVER.


Eric's imitation of an American Southerner: hunched over, constipated and possibly mentally retarded.



Eric: hehe, so um, mind lending me your stake?
Dude: Look, we're all men here, if you want me to get on my knees and suck your dick, just say so.
Eric: ….


Yeah look if you didn't sign up for random caps of ASkars hotness you're in the wrong place.


You know, I have never been a church goin' gal (being Jewish and all) but wouldn't sleeping on those benches be… really uncomfortable?


Sookie: "let us leave! Let's avoid this unnecessary hostility! Can't we all just get along?"
Eric: *mentally calculates liters of blood about to be consumed*



Bill and Lorena: *reenact every Angel and Darla scene ever*
Seriously, you do not know how grateful I am that we have apparently finished our tedious journey into ~BILL COMPTON'S TORTURED PAST~ for this season. I HAVE MY BTVS EPS NEARBY IF I NEED THEM, THANKS ALLAN BALL.




AHAHAHAHA I love the look of disgust mixed with recoil mixed with BRB BLEACHING MY BRAIN on Bill's face. PERFECT AHAHAHA


Eric: I… I offer myself. In exchange for even higher ratings for the show. I know we've got the market for s&m vampire enthusiasts pretty much covered, but every little bit helps.


Beel: if you shoot Sookie, everyone here will die!
NICE BILL, REAL NICE, I SEE YOU'RE TAKING THAT MAINSTREAMING THING TO HEART.



Steve Noolan: Go ahead! Martyr us! Martyr us before God! We are ready to die!
I love how on his deathbed Steve Noolan has transformed into the queen of England and refers to himself as "we". I'M PRETTY SURE ERIC'S JUST KEEN ON YOUR JUGULAR BB.


Oh good, the pimps and whores of Leathertown brigade just showed up.


This is Eric's look as he's pondering whether you're good enough for him to waste energy on killing. I'm just saying.


Godric: "Man I wish me and Jesus - or Heyzeus as he preferred to be called by his friends back then – could have been homeboys but you know it goes, you bring your new Viking BFF to hang and suddenly there's drama."
Seriously I can only imagine how much trouble Eric's INSANE good looks caused for Godric in his worldy travels (Godric who can basically pass for Joe Schmo whenever he wants to).



Jason: you sure are a swell vampire Mr. Godric!
Godric: Please, call me God. If you're ever in the area do stop by – I always have an extra coffin for my friends.
BTW: Godric's clothes throughout are like, the physical embodiment of the IKEA spirit. Also, I can not get over how much utter havoc he must have caused over the centuries with that innocent face.


Eric: Hail the conquering hero.
I only added this cap cos I saw people go on about how Eric is very Brad Colbert like in this scene and I just wanted to say I DO NOT SEE IT AT ALL :/ Maybe if I'd only read the dialogue? Eric has such an undertone of sex and deviousness to every word, Brad's never been that type for me.


Sookie: you've avoided being alone with me all night!
Beel: I'm sorry, it's just that being this close to Eric and Godric is castrating me with low self esteem.



So, on the one hand I'm really happy they addressed Jessica's magical hymen, on the other… look, we're all clear on the fact that the only most people experience pain during first time vaginal intercourse is because they're too nervous or not turned on enough and other such we're-stupid-teenagers phenomena, right? So, I don't know whether to be horrified or saddened by the fact that 28 year old Hoyt DOES NOT KNOW THIS. I get that he's a virgin but jesus has he not heard of the internet?! I know his momma didn't provide him with any sex-ed! So, basically, I'm looking for nominations for who should take Jessica on the magical journey to good sex. Eric? Pam? Jason (look everyone in that town deserves a night with Jason Stackhouse, it's tradition).


Eric: I do not like being touched.
Beel: Oh believe me I do not like touching you.
AHAHAHA Oh Bill, you lie. It's like you and Sookie are competing in the self deception Olympics.


Let me just say – THIS IS ACTUALLY HOW TALL ERIC IS COMPARED TO NORMAL HUMANS.


Also: I'm from the middle east, granted, but I have NEVER SEEN THAT TYPE OF SHIRT BEING WORN BY A MAN. Seriously, is that NOT standard womens' wear? Those exposed shoulder blades are practically begging for colorful bra straps.


I love that this is their arrangement – Eric crouched down on the floor to address Godric at eye level.




Eric: Mommy I made you some food, it's those AB negative pancakes you like so much! It took me over 5 hours to make them but Mommy I'd do ANYTHING just for you :D
Godric: Mommy's not hungry sweetheart. Maybe later.
Eric: *wibble*


I love the look on Tara's face in this scene, and her clothes, it's so perfectly innocent and little-girl-mesmerized, this is just before Eggs hits her for the first time. I don't know whether I like this scene or not, but it was definitely fucked up and disturbing and in that I suppose it achieved its purpose.

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JFC THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER READ IN MY FUCKING LIFE.
Eric/Godric FTW.
Yes, the pews would be SOOOOOO uncomfortable to sleep on.
LOL SELF DECEPTION OLYMPICS.
OMG. TOO MUCH LULZ FOR ONE POST. SRSLY.

AHAHAHA I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

Please, call me God.
LOL BEST CAPTION EVER

Oh that t-shirt. I actually have that in black. IDGI. IDK whether to be amused or horrified by my own fashion taste. But women around here wear that cut a lot. IDGI WTF

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE 'CALL ME GOD' JOKE HASN'T BEEN MADE BEFORE. SERIOUSLY.

Wait what Tshirt are you talking about? The IKEA one or Eric's undershirt-like thing? Cos THAT's what I know as strictly female-wear.

No definitely not seen that comment anywhere. I mean the god(ric) part yes but not like that. ♥

Ah the black undershirt women's top of Eric. IDGI what were they thinking.

SO IT IS A WOMEN'S TOP. God, I'm wondering if Eric bought it randomly and didn't even realize it was a woman's top or if he realized it but just didn't care.

BAMF probably doesn't care and if anybody would have said anything to him about wearing a top for da ladiez, he'd probably would have killed them. I just don't get the fashion department over at HBO. I mean...they had Sex and the fucking City and in True Blood, everybody is wearing these shiteous clothes. Maybe they're making fun of southern Americans?

I actually like to think of Eric's being all "so?" when accused of wearing women's clothing instead of getting upset about it. Boy is ~confident with his sexuality~. But yeah all the fashion on the show is constantly trying to mimic or refrence louisiana, afaik, so. ERIC'S GIRL TOP IS NOT PART OF THE DECOR THOUGH, I'M PRETTY SURE.

Lovin it! Especially this one:

(look everyone in that town deserves a night with Jason Stackhouse, it's tradition).

So true! *lol*

AHAHAHA THIS IS BON TEMPS' SELLING POINT: BUY A HOUSE GET 1 FUCK WITH JASON STACKHOUSE FOR FREE!

LMAO LOVE IT. I think the whole Eric kneeling in front of Godric was my favorite part.

"SOMEONE SHOW ME FIC THAT ADDRESSES WHEN GODRIC SPECIFIED THIS TO BE HIS PREFRENCE IN KNEELING ERIC SITUATIONS."

YES, OH YES.

THANK YOU :D

GOD seriously WHERE is the Eric/Godric fic? WHERE!

OOOOOH have you not been to the GodricEric fandom community!? GO THERE!!! The fic is FANTASTIC!!!! :)

It's the greatest thing since chocolate ;) FOR REALS!!!!

utter havoc he must have caused over the centuries with that innocent face.

THIS!

It's been 2 weeks and I'm STILL obsessed over Godric...

I WILL BE OBSESSED FOR MUCH LONGER, I have a feeling.

Eric's imitation of an American Southerner: hunched over, constipated and possibly mentally retarded.

ILU AND THIS PICSPAM SFM

I loved these! All the captions were perfection, but I particularly loved:

Bill and Lorena: *reenact every Angel and Darla scene ever*

it's SOOOO true!

AHAHAHA thanks for letting me know :D

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