STOP THE PRESSES WE HAVE A WALK-IN
OH MY GOD THIS SHOT. OH MY GOD.
OH M GOD. OH MY GOOOOOD. It has been weeks since this aired and rewatching it still makes me go DID THAT JUST HAPPEN. Also I hope y'all are paying attention to the beautiful Joseph and the Angel statues behind them NOT BEING SYMBOLIC AT ALL.
Sookie, like a good fangirl, is standing there basically imagining the fic in her brain. Sadly because she was created for fandom to hate she will soon go back to her "OMG LEIK ERIK IS SOOOOO ICKY" ways.
YES ERIC PLZ STAND THERE ON YOUR KNEES WITH YOUR HEAD BENT OBIDIENTLY DOWN WHILE YOU ARE SPEAKING TO YOUR MAKER. Seriously, where is the fic? WHERE?
Eric: Master, you are all that's good and perfect in my life, the only love and acceptance I've ever known.
Godric: God this is so much better than Bill's stupid Lorena drama, BB YOU AND ME WE'RE EPIC
Godric: Go, save the humans!
Eric: I am not leaving your side until--
I am adding these caps to
Sookie: Why did you bring Bill with you?
Eric: His attachment to you is irrational. It clouds his judgment. Also, being a vampire, I am immune to the irony of that statement in light of my relationship with Godric.
Is it sad this cap of foreshadowing foreshadowingness mostly makes me want to scream NOOOOOOO NOT HER ERIC, ANYONE BUT HER. GO BE WITH LAFAYETTE OR SOMETHING. They are gonna have to work reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaal hard to sell me Eric/Sookie. Not even cos I specifically dislike her character – I think she's fine for the role she's supposed to play – but because she and Eric seem like the least well suited couple EVER.
Eric's imitation of an American Southerner: hunched over, constipated and possibly mentally retarded.
Eric: hehe, so um, mind lending me your stake?
Dude: Look, we're all men here, if you want me to get on my knees and suck your dick, just say so.
Yeah look if you didn't sign up for random caps of ASkars hotness you're in the wrong place.
You know, I have never been a church goin' gal (being Jewish and all) but wouldn't sleeping on those benches be… really uncomfortable?
Sookie: "let us leave! Let's avoid this unnecessary hostility! Can't we all just get along?"
Eric: *mentally calculates liters of blood about to be consumed*
Bill and Lorena: *reenact every Angel and Darla scene ever*
Seriously, you do not know how grateful I am that we have apparently finished our tedious journey into ~BILL COMPTON'S TORTURED PAST~ for this season. I HAVE MY BTVS EPS NEARBY IF I NEED THEM, THANKS ALLAN BALL.
AHAHAHAHA I love the look of disgust mixed with recoil mixed with BRB BLEACHING MY BRAIN on Bill's face. PERFECT AHAHAHA
Eric: I… I offer myself. In exchange for even higher ratings for the show. I know we've got the market for s&m vampire enthusiasts pretty much covered, but every little bit helps.
Beel: if you shoot Sookie, everyone here will die!
NICE BILL, REAL NICE, I SEE YOU'RE TAKING THAT MAINSTREAMING THING TO HEART.
Steve Noolan: Go ahead! Martyr us! Martyr us before God! We are ready to die!
I love how on his deathbed Steve Noolan has transformed into the queen of England and refers to himself as "we". I'M PRETTY SURE ERIC'S JUST KEEN ON YOUR JUGULAR BB.
Oh good, the pimps and whores of Leathertown brigade just showed up.
This is Eric's look as he's pondering whether you're good enough for him to waste energy on killing. I'm just saying.
Godric: "Man I wish me and Jesus - or Heyzeus as he preferred to be called by his friends back then – could have been homeboys but you know it goes, you bring your new Viking BFF to hang and suddenly there's drama."
Seriously I can only imagine how much trouble Eric's INSANE good looks caused for Godric in his worldy travels (Godric who can basically pass for Joe Schmo whenever he wants to).
Jason: you sure are a swell vampire Mr. Godric!
Godric: Please, call me God. If you're ever in the area do stop by – I always have an extra coffin for my friends.
BTW: Godric's clothes throughout are like, the physical embodiment of the IKEA spirit. Also, I can not get over how much utter havoc he must have caused over the centuries with that innocent face.
Eric: Hail the conquering hero.
I only added this cap cos I saw people go on about how Eric is very Brad Colbert like in this scene and I just wanted to say I DO NOT SEE IT AT ALL :/ Maybe if I'd only read the dialogue? Eric has such an undertone of sex and deviousness to every word, Brad's never been that type for me.
Sookie: you've avoided being alone with me all night!
Beel: I'm sorry, it's just that being this close to Eric and Godric is castrating me with low self esteem.
So, on the one hand I'm really happy they addressed Jessica's magical hymen, on the other… look, we're all clear on the fact that the only most people experience pain during first time vaginal intercourse is because they're too nervous or not turned on enough and other such we're-stupid-teenagers phenomena, right? So, I don't know whether to be horrified or saddened by the fact that 28 year old Hoyt DOES NOT KNOW THIS. I get that he's a virgin but jesus has he not heard of the internet?! I know his momma didn't provide him with any sex-ed! So, basically, I'm looking for nominations for who should take Jessica on the magical journey to good sex. Eric? Pam? Jason (look everyone in that town deserves a night with Jason Stackhouse, it's tradition).
Eric: I do not like being touched.
Beel: Oh believe me I do not like touching you.
AHAHAHA Oh Bill, you lie. It's like you and Sookie are competing in the self deception Olympics.
Let me just say – THIS IS ACTUALLY HOW TALL ERIC IS COMPARED TO NORMAL HUMANS.
Also: I'm from the middle east, granted, but I have NEVER SEEN THAT TYPE OF SHIRT BEING WORN BY A MAN. Seriously, is that NOT standard womens' wear? Those exposed shoulder blades are practically begging for colorful bra straps.
I love that this is their arrangement – Eric crouched down on the floor to address Godric at eye level.
Eric: Mommy I made you some food, it's those AB negative pancakes you like so much! It took me over 5 hours to make them but Mommy I'd do ANYTHING just for you :D
Godric: Mommy's not hungry sweetheart. Maybe later.
I love the look on Tara's face in this scene, and her clothes, it's so perfectly innocent and little-girl-mesmerized, this is just before Eggs hits her for the first time. I don't know whether I like this scene or not, but it was definitely fucked up and disturbing and in that I suppose it achieved its purpose.